


100

by egoistkid



Series: please eat [1]
Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 14:15:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17941256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egoistkid/pseuds/egoistkid
Summary: Janis Ian notices things other people don’t. She notices Regina staring at her phone before eating, glancing at her food and typing something in under the table where she thinks no one can see. She notices how much water Regina drinks in between bites, and how she excuses herself to the bathroom after eating. She notices how nobody bats an eye when she talks about her diets and her restrictions with food. She knows something’s Up with a capital U.





	100

“Seriously?” Regina sighs, staring down at the number on the scale. 100 pounds. Triple digits. 

She knew that eating with Gretchen so as not to make her suspicious would up her daily calorie intake, but she didn’t expect this. Hot tears sting at her eyes and she crosses her arms across her chest. She logs the weight into her MyFitnessPal app. 

It wasn’t always like this; she used to eat whenever she got hungry, she used to be able to think in peace without the idea of food and weight plaguing her every thought. But things are different now, she needs to feel in control and this is one way to do that.

Janis Ian notices things other people don’t. She notices Regina staring at her phone before eating, glancing at her food and typing something in under the table where she thinks no one can see. She notices how much water Regina drinks in between bites, and how she excuses herself to the bathroom after eating. She notices how nobody bats an eye when she talks about her diets and her restrictions with food. She knows something’s Up with a capital U.

Janis and Regina hang out after school on Fridays, a tradition that nobody really knows about but one that they don’t keep secret. They’re long past keeping their relationship private. Regina’s sitting on Janis’s twin bed, one with black sheets and a scarlet red comforter, criss-crossing her legs and playing on her phone. “Want a snack?” Janis asks, already knowing what the answer will be. Regina shakes her head, not glancing up from her phone. “Diet,” She says casually. Janis sighs. 

“Is it a diet or a disorder?” Janis mumbles in response. She’s been clear on how she feels about Regina’s restrictive eating habits, and grills her on it whenever she can. It doesn’t really phase Regina at this point. She ignores the snarky comment. “I’m 100 pounds and I want to die,” She’s over-exaggerating, but it really is something that is weighing on her-- no pun intended. “100? You realize you’re severely underweight? The normal weight for someone your height is like, 130.” Regina scrunches her nose up. “I want to be double digits, then I’ll be content,”

“You’re never content. You’re going to starve until you die. That number on the scale will never be low enough to please you,” It’s a speech Regina has heard many times before, and she usually lets it go in one ear and out the other. But this time it stings. “I stay in control,” Regina mumbles, toying with a piece of her blonde hair. 

“Yeah, right.” Janis’s tone is sharp, and it’s clear she means business. She’s mad, and the blonde feels a pang at her heart, not wanting to upset her but also not wanting to cease the behavior that’s making her so mad. “Ms. Never Weighs More Than 115. Ms. Cranberry Cocktail Juice Cleanse. Ms. Barfing in the Girl’s Restroom After Taco Bell,”

“God, shut up!” Regina snaps, her cheeks aflame. Janis stares at her, taken aback. “Sorry. I just-- I can’t just stop when I please, you know,”

“So you admit you’re not really in control of the disorder that’s fueled by the idea of being in control,” Janis states, her gaze on Regina unwavering.

“I’m not. I’m obsessed with the idea of control but everything in my life seems to spiral out of it, and I just want to be thin, and even when people tell me I am, I don’t believe them. I’ll never be satisfied and I’ll always feel fat. Is that what you want me to say? That I’m a neurotic fatass and I need to be put in a hospital?” 

“I’m glad you’re recognizing you have a problem,” Janis starts, choosing her words carefully and talking slowly. Regina blushes and looks away. 

“Can we just kiss and pretend there’s nothing wrong with me? I’ll feel better after fasting for a few days, and then you won’t have to deal with my crazy,” 

“I’m not dealing with your crazy. I’m trying to help you, because I love you and I want to see you healthy and happy. You’re not a burden,” Janis presses, grabbing Regina’s hand. “And yes, I will kiss you, but I won’t pretend like this isn’t an issue. I’m your girlfriend, Regina, I’m here for you.”

Regina smiles wanly and her dizzying thoughts about weight seem to disappear for just a moment. 


End file.
